2008: The Year in Photos

Are there pick-up lines for play dates?

So I was at Michaela's ballet class, watching Evan ham it up for the other parents, when I experienced something that I have only read about before. I was propositioned for a play date. Wikipedia says a play date is an arranged appointment for children to get together for a few hours to play. Don't get me wrong, my kids have had arranged play with friends, but with friends we already know. But this was a stranger. Somebody, who in my mind, thinks that my kids are so cool that she'd like to have her kids play with mine, in hopes that their coolness rubs off. Okay, so maybe that's not what she was thinking. Maybe she just wants to hang out with me. After all, I am quite a catch. I rush in to ballet class all hot and sweaty, 'cause I had to put holey tights on Michaela and put her tangly hair up in a bun, all while keeping Evan from tearing the place up. Then I proceed to play ringmaster to Evan, keeping him quiet (as if that is even possible) while keeping this tornado of energy confined to a 5x10 space with no toys. If we do bring toys, I then have to keep him from crashing the car/airplane/buzz lightyear/alien guy/monster truck into the wall/chair/other parent/sleeping baby. And I'm doing all this while watching the graceful Michaela Plié/Chassé/ Passé/Relevé/Sauté and smiling approvingly. This mom has a little boy the same age as Evan. He's so quiet, mild mannered and speaks with a normal level of volume. She has seen Evan in action for 3 weeks now. So she knows what she is in for. I am quite happy that we've been asked to play. Most of the time, when we're in public, I get the feeling other parents are looking at me like "OMG! Can't you control your kid?" Which isn't really true, right? They are probably just amused at his antics. Either way, Evan's antics have not scared away this mom. So we exchange numbers on little torn pieces of paper, but now I'm wondering what the rules are about calling for a play date. Are there rules like supposedly there are with dating? How many days do I wait to call? Who calls first? If she buys dinner do I have to sleep with her? Oh wait wrong rules. This is all new to me. I'm used to my kids playing with my friends' kids. If Evan does something embarrassing, hits or won't share, I just deal with it, without fear that they'll never call again. But this new situation has a risk of rejection. But I'll cross that bridge, if it comes. Until then I start thinking of the excuses I can make for Evan's behavior. Isn't that what parenting is all about?

Should I Say "Ah Sweet" or "Get Away Creepy Stalker Kid!"

I went to Michaela's school today because the school lunch menu said there was a "BBQ". All parents were invited. So I braved the idea of eating a school lunch and showed up. I was the only parent! I don't know if that says something about me or school lunches. Anyway, I found Michaela waiting in line, near the end, and asked her classmates if I could take cuts. Now if you know anything about the politics of taking cuts in elementary, you know it could be a dangerous thing to ask. But luckily they were obliging. So this little brown-haired boy asked if I was Michaela's Mom. I said, "Yes". He said, "I'm Michaela's boyfriend." Wow, that's a surprise. She has never mentioned a boy at school. So he then asked if Michaela has mentioned him before. I asked his name, "Blake" he answered. I lied and said, yes. He then reassured me that he watches over Michaela, to make sure nothing happens to her. He says, "I'm like a spy. I'm always watching her, nobody even knows I'm there." WTF!?! I wish I had a picture of this kid. He has dark circles under his eyes and silver caps on several teeth. And he talks sorta monotone. Does he stay up all night thinking about my daughter? Then he turns to Evan and says, "Hey, I'm your sister's boyfriend." To which Evan has no response so the kid starts to tickle Evan and play around. Almost as if he thinks if he can get in good with Evan, he'll surely win over Michaela. The whole time Michaela is looking at me with an expression that at times shows guilt. Why hasn't she told me about him. Then later when I question her about Blake, she doesn't really want to talk about it. So far the details I know after grilling her is, he sits at her table, in the next chair, right next to her! Sometimes they eat lunch together, sometimes they play at recess. She says they play "Star Wars" and "Power Rangers". Later she confesses to Adam that her and Blake got in trouble for holding hands. I asked Michaela what exactly she thinks a boyfriend is, what it means. She replies, "I means we love each other. And someday we'll get married." This is no good! I reiterate that she is not allowed to kiss, ever!

Tomorrow I am volunteering in her class. I'm supposed to teach an art lesson. How can I teach art, when all I will be doing is monitoring this Blake's every move? Maybe it's time to look into an all girls school, or maybe homeschooling? If I can keep her isolated forever...okay maybe that's too much. But at least if she's gonna have a boyfriend, couldn't it be anyone else but the creepy stalker kid?

Doing My Part To Save The Planet

I have lately been walking to the grocery store. It's about 8 blocks away or so. I do this for several different reasons. But since doing "green" things are so popular these days, I'm pretending that I do it to save fuel. I've been walking more, in an effort to facilitate accelerated weight loss. One day I needed to go the grocery store, so I multi-tasked. I figured I could accomplish several things at once. Walk the boy, get groceries, melt some pounds, get fresh air and of course, save the planet. I'm listening to McCain and Obama and I'm reducing my dependence on foreign oil. And I'm so good at saving the planet that I'm using those recycled/reusable shopping bags that are so "in fashion" these days. I load the boy and the bags in the little red wagon and off I go. I walk so proudly, glaring with judgement as mini-vans whiz past full of kids and groceries. I enter Albertson's with a "I'm so self important" attitude and go directly to the hummus. I just figure that goes well with my "saving the planet" image, and it's soooo tasty! This whole adventure lasts about 2 hours. Which according to my calorie-counting website, burns about 400 calories. I just thought I'd brag about myself for awhile. Look at me, I'm so good!

Time for myself? What's that?

I've been inspired by blogger Absolutely Bananas to write about what I do for just "me". The idea behind this blog is that the kids are going back to school and Mom's have more time to get "back to themselves". But I have a three-year-old left at home that, now that sissy's gone, requires more attention than ever! I didn't know "me" existed. Well, she used to exist, but she's now been transformed into somebody that puts her family's needs first. I read other moms' blogs about "back to mom" and the things that stuck out are; reading, exercising, scrap booking, yoga, getting nails done, etc. I don't really read (unless it's a parenting mag.), don't really exercise (unless you call walking a half a block to the school bus stop exercise), definitely don't scrapbook, and don't do yoga or nails. So what is there in my life that is just for me. Husband has fishing, R/C cars, R/C airplanes, motorcycles, etc. What are my hobbies?

So how do I find time for me. I guess for me it's little things. A Frappuccino while grocery shopping, a rare winery night with the girls, hot-tub talks with the girls, watching "The View". There have been pretty big "me times". Vegas, Madonna concert, beach trip. I believe that the consensus of Mommies is sometimes we need time to pretend that we're not. Not a mom, wife and CEO of our family. But on the same token, time to reflect with other moms about parenthood. So about that husband, luckily I have a great one! One that will let me sleep in quite often, even makes me breakfast in bed. One that doesn't complain when girls night comes around. One that understands the value of chatting/complaining/laughing with girlfriends in the hot-tub. One that takes on 3 days alone with 2 kids so I can fly away for "me time".

So I think I've assessed my so called "me time" and discovered that I get a lot of valuable time to myself. It may not be in hobbies like other moms have, but I find time for me in different ways. Plus the fact that my husband sees the value in it, makes it so very enjoyable and easy to achieve. Actually, I believe I've discovered my hobbies are wine, hot-tubbing and high calorie frozen drinks. Sounds like I've got a pretty good life!

When's my paycheck coming?

So I found this website that calculates salaries for any job you enter. It has calculated the earnings a stay-at-home mom would earn if she were paid. You can customize one for yourself based on the average hours and duties you perform weekly.
Here is mine:

Earning Statement Eldridge Family Corporation
For the year ending: September 2008

Job title_______________Hourly Rate______Hours worked
Housekeeper _____________$9.67____________624
Day Care Center Teacher____$13.22___________ 858
Cook__________________$13.42____________598
Computer Operator________$15.44____________416
Laundry Machine Operator___$9.92____________ 208
Janitor__________________$10.17___________208
Facilities Manager__________$34.68___________354
Chief Executive Officer_______$68.04___________333
Van Driver_______________$15.94____________343
Psychologist______________$36.55____________359
Interior Designer___________$18.48____________104
Event Planner_____________$25.21____________208
Bookkeeper______________$16.50_____________104
Nutritionist______________$22.52_____________156
____________________________________________Total Value
Regular Hourly Rate________$20.91___________2,080____$43,492
Over Time Rate___________$31.36___________2,792____$87,583
_____________________________________________________
_________________________________________$131,075

That $131,000/year sounds great, but don't forget, this job requires being on-call 24 hours a day and not getting any sick days. There are job titles that aren't included that should be added; hairstylist, personal shopper, personal stylist.

Wow, I really need to collect that paycheck! Seeing that does make me feel better about the things I do. Because like all moms, I sometimes feel like I'm failing at my job. So maybe it's better that I'm really not being paid, 'cause there are days when I'm not meeting the company's standards. But I believe that if were to have an annual review of my performance, I would ultimately come out shining. Maybe I should ask for a raise!

If you'd like to make your own, visit: http://swz.salary.com/momsalarywizard/layoutscripts/mswl_newsearch.asp

(There's even one for Dads)

What to do if you lose your lost tooth

So Michaela lost another tooth, nothing new or notable on it's own, but this one fell out at school. She gave it to the teacher for safe keeping until after school, however, it could not be found later. So she came home with a new empty slot in her mouth and nothing to give the tooth fairy. Luckily we have prepared for this day. After reading a few books on the matter previously, we had a few choices in how to deal with this situation. (If you find yourself in this situation see this book) http://www.amazon.com/Lost-Tooth-Hello-Reader-Level/dp/0590642308/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1220994101&sr=1-2


One book had said to take a picture of your gappy smile and leave that under your pillow as proof. Another said to write the tooth fairy a note explaining your predicament in hopes that she will pity you and leave a prize without proper payment. Michaela wanted to leave a picture but our printer doesn't work. So she wrote a note:

You may need it translated: "Dear Tooth Fairy, I lost my tooth at school and I want some money. From Michaela"

I'd like to point out something very cool. She currently writes and spells phonetically. And as some of you know, when you are missing a few front teeth your speech is slightly impaired. You may have trouble with "s" sounds and "th" sounds. So as you can see, when Michaela sounded out "tooth" she pronounces it with a lisp and so her spelling is "toosh". I just love it!

Anyway, all went well and the "toosh" fairy did accept her note and took pity and left her "sume mone". The teacher did find the tooth and gave it to her yesterday. I guess now we should give the tooth fairy what she is owed. But Michaela wants more cash for the found tooth. I guess I'll have to explain to her the intricacies of owing a creditor.